The
Twin Flames and the Demons
excerpt
from Twin
Flames: A True Story of Soul Reunion
by Antera
There
was once a soul who was given some instruction along his evolutionary
path that he thought would help him in his growth back to the Light.
This training had become an ingrained part of him, carried from
lifetime to lifetime. As one aspect of this training, he was taught
to control his emotions, especially his "bad" or "negative"
ones, so they would have no influence on his behavior and he could
spend all his time in the pursuit of the "higher" emotions
and thoughts. He was convinced that this would bring him closer
to his God, who was made of only good thoughts and feelings, in
contrast to the other God, called the Devil, who contained only
bad thoughts and feelings. He thought that if he felt such things
as anger or hatred, then he was bringing the Devil into his life
and he certainly did not want that.
So he learned to ignore his bad feelings by distracting himself
whenever one came up, by putting his mind on something that required
his full attention. He thought that made the emotion go away; because
he didn't feel it after a while. What he did not know was that every
time he took his attention off of those emotions, they didn't really
go away. They simply were stored up inside him and carried from
lifetime to lifetime until they could be properly expressed. But
the system seemed to work well on the surface, and in many lives
he was a very pious and well-respected person in his community and
church, well rewarded for these efforts. People marveled at how
even-tempered he was, and how well he could keep the evil thoughts
and feelings from him. Some even thought he was a saint, and they
came to him with their own evil thoughts for help in banishing them.
After many hundreds of years, he had so effectively suppressed his
negative emotions that he no longer even knew what they were, even
when one leaked out once in a while, with a force that surprised
him and those around him. All those negative emotions were locked
up in a box in his heart, sealed off with a lot of energy and intent,
so he could maintain his separation between the good and the bad.
He trained with the best each society he lived in could give him
spiritually; becoming highly adept, but never addressed the Dark
Box of Separation, which stored all his pain and was made stronger
with each life, requiring more of his energy to keep it intact.
He decided to be born at a time when he could reap the full benefit
of accelerated growth around the turn of the millennium 2000, so
he could take on all his remaining lessons, which didn't seem too
great from his perspective as spirit. This would give him a chance
at mastering the Earth existence. He was very advanced spiritually;
so if he played his cards right in this lifetime, he would reunite-with
his Twin Flame and they would ascend together. This was his plan
as he came into what he hoped was his final body on Earth.
His Higher Self knew he would have to finally open the Separation
Box to heal completely and follow his plans. So he found himself
born into a family with a mother who was too sick to care for him,
as Spirit presented him with his first healing opportunity: to address
his fears and pain of abandonment. His mother, who loved him greatly,
had agreed to become sick so she could give this important lesson
to him, at the same time providing herself with an opportunity to
let go of some of her accumulated karma. But he reacted to the pain
in the only way he knew, by ignoring it, and developed a sense of
humor that would come out with a joke at just the right time, when
feelings of sadness threatened to be expressed.
Even though he was living in a family that did not talk about or
support his soul-path to mastery, he knew deep inside that he was
more than the body he was in. Sometimes he would lie under the stars
at night and wish that a spaceship would come down and take him
away. As an old soul surrounded by younger souls, he always felt
different in some undefined way, like he didn't really fit in with
the society he had been born into. He had an inner need to search
for the teachings he needed, so he turned to books as a teenager
and found many truths expressed there that felt intuitively right
to him, and helped to reawaken his sense of Spirit. It was comforting
to find that there were others out there who were different, too,
and that there were other ways of thinking than those he had been
brought up with. He read about God and Love and Light, and continued
his growth in spirit as best he could, considering the great Separation
within him. Of course, he didn't consciously know that he carried
this burden.
As he grew older, Spirit sent to him the very best teachers, as
significant relationships, to help him heal his burden, but he did
not have the perspective at the times to realize that. He married
and divorced, then remarried, not understanding why problems came
up in the relationships. His second wife had lovingly agreed with
him in spirit to push him to his limits so he could recognize that
he carried the burden. So she said many bad things to him, and criticized
him more and more as years went on. He didn't get the message, though,
and thought they had lost their love because she was such a bad
person. Yet, he stayed with her for many years because he didn't
want to leave his children.
The frequent criticisms finally aroused his stored-up anger and
frustration of many lifetimes to the point where sometimes the Box
leaked and he couldn't stop it. To keep the Box protected, and so
he would not have to address it yet, he developed several separate
personalities that would respond to the attacks from his wife when
they occurred. These sub-personalities took care of the situation
each time by fighting back for him. They grew very proficient, finding
by trial and error the methods of attack that worked the best, that
is, would stimulate the most pain in his wife. She, at the same
time, was developing her own sub-personalities. So when they had
an argument, their rational selves both left their bodies temporarily,
and let these personalities fight. The personalities, which were
guarding unexpressed pain, grew very powerful and skilled, and after
many years of fighting, when there was no spark of love left between
the couple, they finally divorced.
After that "bad" marriage, this man decided he didn't
want that to happen again, so he sealed up as best he could the
pain in his heart and went into diligent further study of spiritual
matters, so he could get away from this planet of pain and suffering.
Free of the marriage, he now had more time to meditate and concentrate
on his inner work. He was very intuitive in some ways, and began
entertaining the notion that there was a woman out there somewhere
who was his Soulmate and if he could just find her, he would be
whole and all would be well. He called for her often, in his mind.
His Higher Self knew that eventually there would be a showdown between
his Light and Dark sides, and that the more Light he brought in,
the quicker this would happen. There was much concern among his
spirit guides that he still had not addressed his stored-up pain,
though he had been given many opportunities. Also, the time was
drawing near for him to reunite with his Twin Flame and begin their
work together. The man's calls for her were speeding that process.
Would he be ready in time, or would the meeting be premature, before
he was healed enough to handle the intensity of such a relationship?
His Twin Flame was a woman who had also chosen to be born at this
time of spiritual acceleration. She was born into a large family
of old souls and had much spiritual support growing up, but soon
found that she was very different from most people in the outside
world. She was very energy-sensitive, which made her quiet and shy
in a world of people who didn't sense what she did, and no one taught
her how to hold her own energy intact so she could differentiate
between hers and others' feelings.
She knew from an early age, by contact with her spirit guides, that
she had an important mission in this life, but that her real work
wouldn't start until the end of the century approached and she was
over forty. As a teenager, the woman wrote poetry that entertained
the notion of having a very special partner who walked in the woods
and shared deep spiritual intimacies with her. She thought she would
know this person if they met, but gradually gave up on finding him.
She followed her urge to have children while very young, so they
would be grown by the time her real work started.
With her first husband, she studied the physical body and reviewed
her mastery of it. She gave birth to two sons, and studied nutrition
and health. She never thought this husband was one she would stay
with her whole life, but she knew they had this work to do together,
and when it was done, they moved apart. With her second husband,
she reviewed the emotional body. The two of them, as their Higher
Selves, had arranged to push each other to get in contact with the
unexpressed rage they both had inside. They had energetic verbal
fights, which prompted her to dive into some intense work to release
lifetimes of pain. She studied the ways of the emotional body while
she healed and cleared her own emotional flow. With that lesson
reviewed, the marriage had served its purpose and they split. Her
third husband was a scientist like herself, and with him she studied
and re-mastered the mental body, developing her left-brain knowledge
and logic as well as discharging subconscious mental patterns that
no longer served her. She didn't believe that this husband was her
True Mate any more than the other two were, but it was a happy marriage,
and she was content. However, a part of her deeply wanted to be
able to share her spiritual journey with her mate, which she couldn't
do. So she turned to her personal connection with beings of Light,
and her personal support group in spirit who continued to teach
her and illumine her path.
The agreed-upon time came, and (with some hesitation) the Higher
Selves of the man and woman cunningly arranged for them to be in
the same place at the same time, on several occasions. When they
met, it was not instantaneous recognition, but after a few brief
conversations, they hugged and both felt a vast expansion of Divine
Love, and they knew within a short period of time that they were
meant to be together. There was an attraction that was far greater
than they had felt with anyone else, because it was of so many dimensions.
They quickly realized that they shared the same spiritual goals,
along similar paths, and it was deeply satisfying to share this
part of their lives together, which neither had been able to do
with previous spouses.
At first, the man thought his dream of finding the right mate had
come true, because they had so much fun together and connected at
such deep levels, and it was refreshing after the fighting throughout
his previous marriage. But he became frightened when the newness
of their sacred union wore off, and little things started to upset
him. The woman could read his energy, so when the man got upset,
she would ask what he was upset about. The woman thought that all
upsets should be dealt with as soon as they come up between two
people in an intimate relationship. But his old training made him
deny being upset because he thought such things weren't felt by
spiritual beings, especially men.
As their sacred union accelerated their spiritual work together
and the Light started seeping into little corners of the Separation
Box inside the man's heart, the sub-personalities he had created
in his previous marriage started to reappear. These personalities
thought that the Light was their mortal enemy, a very reasonable
thought since the Light was starting to penetrate the Box they guarded
and it was threatening their security. They also thought that any
woman in the man's life was an enemy.
So the man started to let these personalities vigorously attack
the woman. She was not at all prepared for the onslaught and was
deeply hurt by what he said. He even said he thought they should
not be together, which broke her heart. The personalities knew that
if they could convince her of that, their Box would be safe.
After this sort of thing happened several times, the woman started
to notice that every time the man got mad or frustrated, he would
say the same or similar things, and she started to call the personalities
he gave his power to "demons." She gradually accepted
that these demons weren't the man she was in love with, and this
was a relief to her. But when the woman explained all this to the
man, hoping he would then get some help in exorcising the demons,
it was to no avail. She told him that all she wanted from him was
love, and if he wanted to hold onto all that suppressed energy and
put off his healing that was OK as long as he didn't allow the demons
to take out their energy on her. He agreed that love was a reasonable
request, and at first he tried to make agreements about how he would
behave when he felt angry, but he couldn't keep them because he
couldn't hold the demons to those agreements. In fact, he couldn't
control the demons at all. When these agreements were broken, his
mate started to think that maybe there was no hope for the relationship
to work. With time, the man gradually did come to agree that he
had some difficulties with his emotional body, though he did not
admit this to his mate. So he prayed and asked for help at taking
the pain away, in a most convincing way. He understood quite rightly
that whenever you asked your Higher Self and spirit guides for help,
it was given. The man thought that the angels and masters could
just reach into his energy and take all those lower emotions away,
doing all the work for him, so he wouldn't have to go through all
that pain. But he didn't understand that they couldn't take it away
without his releasing it physically as well. They helped him break
down the walls of his Separation Box even more quickly because of
his requests, in the hopes that he would find a way to release all
that would be exposed.
This was accomplished very cleverly by arranging meetings for him
on the inner planes, mostly while he was sleeping so he did not
remember them. Each meeting was to set up an agreement with various
people who would help him bring these emotional energies up so they
could be recognized and addressed, and then (hopefully) healed.
The work was designed to help the other people involved, as well,
by releasing some kind of karmic debt in exchange for helping him.
As the agreements manifested in the man's physical reality, one
by one and sometimes all at once, fears were brought to his attention
by the playing out of dramas in all areas of his life. The dramas
were very real and painful for him, and it seemed that whatever
he feared, happened. He understood on an intellectual level the
concept of creating your own reality, but he hadn't accepted this
truth in his experience. So it appeared to him that the more he
asked for help, the worse things became. His Higher Self was patiently
waiting for the man to realize that he had to release the emotions
that were being brought up, but he continued to hold on by sheer
force of his will, which was very strong indeed.
As his fears grew, however, his protective demons grew even more
powerful than his will, and took over the body more and more often.
The man had enough control to keep them buried most of the time
when he and the woman were in the company of friends, but he couldn't
control them when he was alone with his mate, and she was often
verbally attacked. The woman could see what was happening and tried
very hard not to be hurt by what the demons said, but she wasn't
always successful.
When the man was fully present, she taught him what she knew about
emotional release. He would listen and accept what she said, but
still couldn't control the demons, who, naturally, did not want
him to get help. All the suggestions she made were promptly forgotten.
He also had the notion that to ask for help would be equivalent
to admitting he was wrong-like admitting he wasn't really as advanced
along his spiritual path as everyone else thought, or as he had
pretended to be for so long. And the demons fully supported his
inaction.
His mate had almost lost hope that he would win the battle between
his Light and Dark sides. She knew that she needed to love him,
and that if she could do that all the time, it would help him heal.
She needed to rally her forces to become the most perfect expression
of Divine Love, because Love was a force that nothing could fight
against, and the solution to any problem. She asked her guides to
help open her heart, taking in all the Love she could possibly hold,
and then transmitted it to her mate daily. As the woman practiced
her expression of Divine Love, she saw a definite shift in the amount
of time the demons were in charge. She found that if she slacked
off in her focus, the demons almost immediately took over again.
The happy part of this story is the made-up ending, because it hasn't
happened yet: The man eventually began doing some things his mate
had suggested, starting the process of release. It finally came
to him that if he ignored the help that was offered, he may not
ever get out of the morass. He also realized that his True Love
was with him to help him heal, and she was not the enemy. If he
didn't accept that, his chance at such a perfect union and world
service would be lost, as well as his chance to achieve mastery
in this lifetime. There was too much at stake for him to be letting
the demons control him anymore. He accepted help from his mate and
worked diligently on release of his pain from his childhood and
many past lifetimes.
So in the end, despite all the suffering, Divine Love and Light
won the battle and the Sacred Union of Twin Flames was preserved.
They went on to be great teachers of the Light, inspiring others
to overcome their blockages, and ascended together into the bliss
of Higher Presence. . . .
Omaran
wept several times while reading the story. He couldn't hold the
tears back, and didn't even try. It rang so true, and for the first
time he really started to see how his behavior was seen from the
masters' perspective. He felt terrible about how he had hurt his
mate so. The small trickle of tears cleansed him, and he felt purified.
He read it twice through.
"Antera?" She came back in to the living room and sat
across from him. "How did you like it?" She could see
that he was touched.
"It's wonderful. I really didn't know. . . I am so sorry, I
had no idea that it hurt you so much. Thank you, this is a gift-and
the truth: He straightened his posture. "But I still don't
like the idea of 'demons.' I don't like you calling them that. .
. ." But it was said with a light heart. The story had a very
healing effect on Omaran, and he thought about it for days, reading
parts of it again. The demons had been overtly exposed. He felt
such relief, as if now his whole body could relax. A deep place
inside, where he didn't even know he had been holding tension, had
simply let go. Now he knew how good it felt after crying, even that
little bit, and wished he could do it more often, as Antera had
suggested so many times. But why was it so hard?
No
wonder she calls them demons, he thought. I can't control them.
. . they have power over me. I can't will them away! Frightened
for a moment, he wondered if he could ever gain control over them.
He had accomplished so many things in his life by using his will;
he had always been able to make things happen. But his will alone
was no match for these demons, or the problem would be already taken
care of. How did he will something not to happen? Wait! These demons
are not beings separate from me, controlling me from the outside.
They are my own creation, they are parts of myself-so of course
I can and will conquer them!
This resolve resulted in improved behavior for a few months. He
was happier and kinder than he had been in a while. But Antera was
wary. Though she enjoyed their times together, she knew the demons
would be back because most of the repressed energy was still there,
and she knew it would take a lot of work to clear. So she kept her
guard up. It was just too easy to forget the bad times when he was
his joyful self.
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Twin
flame couple Antera and Omaran created the