When
we think of being in love, our first thoughts usually turn to the
romantic notion of finding and embracing "the one," our
soul-mate, our beloved. That special person who's meant just for us.
Once our paths cross, we may feel ourselves literally falling, uncontrollably,
irresistibly surrendering to the feelings of love and admiration we
feel for them, and it's a wonderful
feeling! It's our fairy-tale come true.
However,
in our search for that "right" relationship, we are often
unaware that we're actually seeking validation of the love that already
exists within us, unconsciously making our ability to feel it and
express it dependent on that person. For instance, many of us hold
the idea that if we never find them, we'll never feel it, and often
become desperate and needy. Or if we do find them, possessive and
obsessive in our attempts to hold onto what we believe is our source
of love. If we were being honest, most of us would have to admit that
we've found ourselves in this state in at least a 
relationship
or two! If so, and you've left it feeling discouraged, perhaps it's
not at all your inability to find the right "one," but simply
time to try on another perspective of love itself.
The
greatest obstacle on our path to true love is the belief that love
is something we do. Love is not something we do; it's what we are.
It is the energy of which all things exist. It is the essence of our
being, the truth of our soul, the evidence of God within us. Love
is not something that we can give or receive, but something we choose
to experience. To allow ourselves to experience our full capacity
for love is to embrace all that we are, beyond our ego beliefs, beyond
our human conditioning, beyond our fear and our need to validate it
from the outside, and to simply allow its energy to flow through us,
permeating life itself.
In
our humanness, we limit our potential to experience love through our
need to express it in tangible, physical form. If there is no one
to love or love us back, we often feel empty and lonely. Yet, our
capacity for love is not dependent on anything outside of us. It is
the gift of Spirit, and it is our own life force. To truly express
love or to allow ourselves to feel it from another is to accept our
own love and be willing to be fully present in it. It is not derived
from the relationship, but from a Divine state of consciousness, reflected
back to us in those with whom we express it. To be "in love,"
is to live in the energy of love, consistently and by choice. It is
to allow ourselves to fall deeply, intimately, into the depth of our
own capacity for it. To experience love to this degree is to expand,
to open our hearts and allow love to fill us up from the inside out.
It is to surrender to being love, rather than finding it.
To
realize this spiritual nature of love, beyond our human need to express
and experience it, is to know love in its purest form. It is beyond
measure. Beyond our ability to understand it. Beyond our human limitations.
Yet, it flows through every fiber of life and exists innately within
each of us. Our ability to access it is only in our willingness to
accept it. It is in this, our truest connection with God, that we
feel the most exquisite joy of our love with each other. This is an
often challenging perspective to consider, as we don't want to give
up our romantic ideas of being in love, and we don't have to! Those
wonderful butterflies in our belly, the excitement and sweetness of
being close to another, these are some of the most precious moments
in life. Perhaps in our search for "the one" who will fulfill
our longing to love and be loved completely, however, we've forgotten
to look in the most obvious of places, within ourselves. Our love
is our love, and the bliss that we feel in loving another is derived
from our own willingness to own it, embrace it, and allow it to flow
freely.
We
are love. There's nothing to do but stand still and experience the
current flowing through you. Let go of everything else, stand still.
©Kate
Bares-Johnson
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