Dear Jacqueline,
Hi and
welcome to Soul2Soul!
While the
inner state of confusion and mental exhaustion is never a comfortable
one the inner journey it compels you to undertake is good. And your
journey if you choose to follow it promises to be a very exciting
one.
Neither
choice you make about your career would ultimately be 'wrong' in the
sense that both options are very challenging and each would give you
its measure of difficulties and rewards.
My sense
is that you have a primary conflict between your head and your heart:
I believe the first path, fashion design has the quality of it of
inner vision or a childhood dream, something you have wanted to do
for a long time. The other seems more motivated by common sense and
tradition... also a feeling of family's desires and expectations -
are any of your family in the medical profession?
In your
natal chart the Sun in Scorpio and a Moon in Sagittarius suggest to
me liveliness and vitality as well as a need to pursue your own inner
path without being tied down. The gifts of Sagittarius are travel,
adventure and open minds.
Your ascendant
on the other hand is in Taurus creating a counterbalance to the free
spirit of the Sag and the intensity and inner vision of Scorpio. The
traits that Taurus lends are: common sense, possessiveness, tendency
to seek security and material wealth.
These polarities
echo through your own dilemma. There seems to be a longing in you
to follow your passion and your impulse opposed by your pragmatic
side that seeks stability and security.
A career
in fashion design would be very challenging as this is a very competitive
field but provided you stuck with it you would see success. It does
feel like this is something you have thought about doing since you
were small... however even though you have enough originality, ambition
and drive to succeed on this path - the drawback being this is not
and will never be a field with a guarantee of safety and income.
Doctor/nurse
wise... here my feeling is that being a nurse would really not make
you happy at all. I am not entirely clear on what motivates you on
this path... there is a feeling of family influence as well as your
own search for a job with good income and pension prospects.
I don't
believe that being a nurse would fulfill you at all... my feeling
is that in order for you to be happy in a job there needs to be a
sense of movement and change about it...that despite your patience
and common sense it is easy for you to feel trapped in your work/life
situation.
I feel
that you have a particularly sharp/keen and ambitious mind... and
being able to exercise it whether in fashion design or medicine would
be your greatest source of fulfillment. You feel both strong-willed
and sensible... whichever field you decide to pursue getting a job
in it would be a very good idea.
I don't
think you should restrict yourself to the path of being a nurse/doctor...
have you considered alternative careers in the medical field? My own
inkling is that you would be happiest as a researcher.. although this
is also a challenging and competitive option it is exciting ... frequently
there is a fair amount of travel as well as plenty of change and discovery.
There are
alternatives also in the fashion industry if instead of being a designer
yourself you go into the management/ department store buyer angle.
This is a more secure career but it should still allow you to exercise
your imagination and vision.
This will
not only allow you to get a sense for the job and the people you will
be working with but also help you to make contacts in the field should
you decide to pursue it.
Having
a sensible outlook as well as a sharp mind and an impulsive, passionate,
original and adventurous outlook is the recipe for a very powerful
combination should you choose to pursue it. My advice is instead of
being torn apart by the conflicting forces in yourself, harness them
and make them work together for you... whether you take your common
sense and pragmatic approach into the ever changing world of fashion
and design or whether you bring originality and spirit into the world
of medicine.
To be happy
in a career I think you will truly need to honor both parts of yourself.
The study and pursuit of medicine is long. Before going in that direction
ask yourself whether you have enough patience to stick with it.
Similarly
the study of and work in fashion design is competitive and uncertain...
do you have enough confidence to believe in yourself and pursue your
dream?
My feeling
is that being a nurse won't fulfill you and that you will find being
a doctor very challenging... and that going into the research side
of medicine might hold the best of both worlds... The option of being
a doctor/nurse did not really hold very good vibes for me but as I
said I believe there are other options in the fields of medicine which
you can explore and may find more inspiring career prospects. Ultimately,
it does not matter what your family longs for for you so much as what
YOU want. That is the only truly significant thing. In order to make
any career work (have it be a career rather than a job) you need to
want to do it. Of course you also need endurance and assertiveness
but I think you have those in plentiful supply anyway.
Similarly
in fashion design my feeling is that you would succeed better as a
buyer or an executive.
I understand your conflict. Which path would make you happiest is
only a question that you can answer... because each of them fulfills
different parts of you. What is more important to you? Money and security
or originality and pursuing your ideas? Stability or adventure?
Rather
than driving yourself into insanity and exhaustion by trying to answer
the question, my advice is take a step back from the world. Retreat,
reflect. Think about what you long for most deeply.
The promise
is whichever path you choose you will be able to make it work for
you (just don't go into nursing). Take some time to reflect. Rest.
The greatest clarity comes in the moments of inner stillness, when
the voices of fear/desire are silent.
If peaceful
reflection does not help (though I think it will) you can always go
for a more practical test and follow your earlier ideas of getting
a job in a department store or hospital. Try it and see if you like
it. Whether the atmosphere energizes or drains you.
Neither
of the career paths you are thinking of will come lightly or be without
its sacrifices but if you decide to pursue one and stick with it you
will be rewarded. You have qualities, drive, vision, keenness, ambition
and pragmatism that will allow you to succeed in any profession.
(((((((((((((((((Jacqueline)))))))))))))))
I hope
this has been helpful to you. Thank you for letting me read for you.
Good luck and many blessings on your path.
Peace,
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