Dearest
Belinda,
I
got a lot of mixed messages with your reading for some reason. I sensed
that although the relationship with C. is important to you, you are
also doing your best to continue on with your life, and that you also
have other things on the go right now.
As
far as the relationship with C. is concerned, you really have a deep
connection with him, and hoping that you will be able to come to some
kind of truce. You're feeling quite confused and at times have intense
feelings of anger towards him for leaving without giving you a proper
explanation as to why. These feelings are natural and don't last,
and despite having those feelings occasionally, you still feel as
though you want to declare peace with him and be able to sit down
and talk things out.
You
have a strong attraction to him in all forms and I'm not surprised
at all considering what an incredible presence he has, along with
an awareness and power that really isn't found in most people. When
he is focussed on something, he gets completely absorbed in his goal
and becomes energized by doing so. He commits himself completely to
whatever he sets his sights on, and I sense that this is possibly
what caused the separation. Since the two of you were to be married
and he was feeling secure in your relationship, he felt that he could
start focussing on other areas of his life. This in turn, started
worrying you because you felt he was no longer interested in you or
your relationship. This is quite the contrary. I sense a lot of love
from him, and for someone to feel secure enough in a relationship
to not have to place so much focus on it is part of taking love to
the next level. To achieve interdependence is the ultimate accomplishment.
To be with someone you love, and to also be able to be independent
within your own life is what having a healthy relationship is about.
You've
really reached a stalemate at this point and time, because you both
feel so sure on your positions. You feel as though he has done you
wrong, and he feels somewhat betrayed as well because he really sees
you as someone who's very strong and independent. That's why he was
so confused why his focussing on other areas in his life rather than
you was such a problem. Right now neither of you are willing to swallow
your pride and try to see the other person's position because you've
both hurt each other. You're both feeling afraid to take any action
towards reuniting, because you haven't been able to completely forgive
each other for the hurt that you've both endured, and feel that whoever
takes the first step to make contact, that you're admitting that you
were wrong.
I
sense that he himself is feeling quite depressed and this is effecting
him in many different areas. He is lacking motivation and feeling
little desire towards anything he used to find fulfilling. You are
on his mind a lot and he's losing sight of what gifts the Universe
has blessed him with. You are both so sad, but unwilling to look at
things from each other's point of view. Perhaps this reading will
help with that.
I
sense that before the relationship ended, that you were really feeling
quite cozy in your relationship and your life, and you really couldn't
foresee any upcoming turbulence. You maybe started taking some of
those comforts for granted and felt you had earned everything you
had and almost felt like they were "owed" to you. Although
you've worked very hard to get to where you were and are completely
deserving, the moment we start taking these blessings for granted,
is the moment we start experiencing difficulties.
I
see you being involved in some kind of group that helps you understand
more of what's happening in your life and why it's happening. You're
really searching for a deeper meaning, and even possibly turning towards
religion or spirituality to help you. You're starting to become more
disciplined and feel like you're starting to "fit in", which
is something you've always craved. This is a very good step for you,
and could possibly help you to understand what it means to become
independent. You're starting to do things for yourself, and taking
control of your own life. You're setting standards for yourself and
sticking to them which helps increase your self esteem and self worth.
All these steps that you're taking are very important in preparing
yourself for your future, and a happy, affluent family life. You're
creating a foundation that will ensure your security and this is a
very good way of focussing your energy right now.
I
see something coming up for you that will really make you feel good
in your life...something exciting that will help you feel on top of
the world. This in turn will give you the strength and understanding
you need to take the plunge to face your fears head on. You really
have a lot of leadership skills and you really can achieve personal
power, originality, and boldness. These are qualities you have at
your fingertips, but you can also let your daydreaming and fantasies
take over sometimes, which can prevent these gifts from coming out
in full force. You are a strong, independent woman who can take the
bull by the horns and achieve any goal that you want. All you have
to do is stay focussed on what it IS that you want. If you want to
have C. back in your life, then do whatever it takes to get him there.
If you prove yourself worthy to the Universe, then you will not be
ignored. If you honor yourself and show the world your true strength,
then anything you want can be yours. A time is coming up for you where
things will start going your way and you'll really feel the confidence
to start taking risks and be able to sway others to your way of thinking.
You'll be able to speak you mind and take initiative when it's needed.
You really are an incredible leader and your love you and C. have
for each other can be used as inspiration, instead of having it hold
you back. If his love for you is a concern, then let me ease your
mind...he LOVES you. This is just a time where you both have to learn
some things in order to maintain a happy relationship and to set yourselves
up as individuals so when you do come together again, you will both
feel more secure about everything.
As
far as whether or not the two of you will reunite as lovers again,
is completely up to you. If that's what you CHOSE and work towards,
then that is what will happen. You just have to be sure that's what
you want, and take what steps are necessary in order for that to happen.
I still think you need some time to heal and to better understand
where he was coming from before you're sure about that choice, but
that will come in time as well. You'll know when the time is right,
and it's very important that you don't take action until you're feeling
completely secure in your position. Taking action at any other time
will just prove to be fruitless and painful. You are an incredible
authority figure, and this is something you have to experience to
it's fullness and trust in yourself completely before you're able
to find the strength to be with your soulmate. For the time being,
you need to just practice all that you've learned during this painful
time so that being independent and creating your own style just comes
naturally to you without even having to try. Something you should
try to remind yourself every day to inspire you is "CARPE DIEM"
which means "Seize the Day". Remind yourself with every
new day, that what you want is yours to have, and all you have to
do is let it be known to the Universe and prove your worth. You are
absolutely worth it, deserving, and more than capable of achieving
it, but the person you have to convince the most of those facts, is
yourself. Once you recognise this as true without a doubt, you will
see how things will just happen for you.
Good
faith, and take care of yourself.
With
love and Light,
Lora
