Dear
Teen,
Thank
you for writing and welcome to Soul2Soul! :)
My
feeling is that although B. has changed significantly and appears
to be a lot more settled now, I do not think he can give you what
you want.
B.
feels to me like a fairly energetic man, who has traveled in the past
(if not physically then with his mind). I get the *adventurer* vibe.
Someone with great imagination and enthusiasm, energy and impulse
but unfortunately little discipline and perseverance. It feels like
knowledge is important to him, and that there is something of an irrepressible
quester still to his character.
It
feels that right now he has quieted down somewhat and that he is,
and has been examining his value systems. This is reflected partially
in his approach to money and partially in trying to figure out his
own worth and the worth of the people around him. It feels that although
he is attached to money and probably quite good at making he is less
adept at holding onto it.
Right
now the feeling I get between you is potential. I think this is an
important and influential relationship that has left a profound mark
on both of you and that the reason you are coming together is to clear
up *unfinished business* as it were, tie up the loose ends.
However,
it feels like you are running on slightly different agendas. It feels
that although he has the good will to commit to the relationship,
and quite a lot of sincerity, I do no think that right now he can
follow it up in practical terms to the extent that you need/would
like.
I
genuinely think that he would give it his best shot to make it work
but that his best may not be good enough. It feels that he has been
trying to make a transition from boy to man for years, with varying
degrees of success, and that although he has outward signs of being
settled (feels like a stable income) inwardly he is not entirely sure
what he wants and what he can give.
My
advice is be friends with him, or if you want a romantic relationship
then have one without expectation. Be prepared to invest patience.
My feeling is that you can potentially have a negative influence on
each other, where you get a bit frustrated and impatient and *push*
him, which he responds to by retreating and being *emotionally childish*.
This is something which is important to try and avoid as it is a negative
dynamic, and not constructive.
I
think you can definitely use the bond you have, and affection from
the past to forge a deep friendship/partnership of some kind. Certainly
the overwhelming feeling is potential. Nonetheless in the romantic
relationship context I get a sense of also potentially great conflict.
I
do not think this is a relationship to abandon. While it may not be
what you want/need right now, it feels like you have caused powerful
transformations in each other in the past and that the experience
of being with him has helped you become more assertive, surer of your
own mind, what you do and do not wish for.
I
get a vibe of impatience around you though, a feeling of wanting things
to move fast and resolve themselves already one way or another. However,
I don't perceive any *quick* solutions happening. It feels that these
are complex, uncertain situations you still have a lot of say about
and influence on.
My
advice is... don't jump into a romantic relationship with him. Have
a friendship. Talk. Communicate. Give each other a chance to reconnect.
And then decide how you feel, whether he is going *too slowly* for
you, or whether you are happy with the pace and what he can give.
Whether this is enough or you need something different.
It
also feels that you have conflict and grief from the past, you appear
quite emotionally assertive (although you may also come across perhaps
as combative) and that for the good of any future romantic relationship
it would be useful for you to release any pent up anger/sadness you
may be holding.mourn the past grievances and betrayals then let them
go. (Easier said than done I realise ;) )
However,
the chance to explore ourselves is a gift :) while I do not think
you think the circumstances for a romantic relationship are ideal,
or *ripe*, I still think that any relationship with this man has great
potential to be beneficial to you (where the more willingness to let
the relationship evolve at its own pace and fewer expectations will
lead to the greatest benefits). it feels like you once transformed
and shook up each other but that now as friends you can help one another
mature and heal.
I
wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Blessed
be.
Soul2Moon
