Name:Nikita
Time of birth:11.30am
Place:London.UK
D.O.B:22.07.19xx

Hello. I was hoping to get some advice and help with
my lovelife. Do you know of any soulmate coming into
the picture at any time? I have no luck in this area
of my life. Thank you for your time

Dear Nikita,

Hello and welcome to Soul2Soul.

It feels as though there is an ended relationship in your past which is still affecting you quite a lot. I am not sure how recent it is but it feels like you have suffered a breakup of some kind and are in recovery. It feels as though there is a split between your mind wanting to move forward and your heart which hasn't quite released this relationship yet.

While moving on is important, if emotionally you are not ready to do that it may be a good idea to invest some time now in simply resting a while... connecting with your inner resources and allowing yourself a period of mourning, if that is what is needed, in order to let go of the past. There is a feel as though inside you are somewhat stuck and confused...I'd suggest that only you can answer what or who does or doesn't makes you happy. You feel like a person with quite a lot of mental resolve and once you have a clear idea of what you want, then you can harness your energies and peruse that.

It feels as though you are at a time of waiting in most aspects of your life, although it feels as though there are changes and a new beginning on the work front... I'd say that at this time the overwhelming message is to simply let yourself be. Explore. Play. See where you end up. Do not limit yourself at the start but allow yourself to see all the possibilities.

I do not feel anything serious in your love life in the near future...beyond flirtations...I think it is important that you get your balance back first and once you are more steady and grounded you can work on meeting people. Do not rush into a relationship... but allow yourself time to both heal and find a partner who offers you true fulfillment, rather than simply settling.

Truthfully, I also feel there may be a few emotional issues to resolve... I get a sense of bitterness or emotional hardening around you and that you may not be fully ready to engage into a love relationship right now. It feels as though you were quite nurturing towards a past partner without it having been reciprocated and its important to try and combine your gentle emotional and your harder mental side, finding some kind of balance between them. To be ready to enter into relationships with caution but not bitterness, with knowing what you want and being ready to share but at the same time being ready to ask for things in return and not give too much.

I do not believe you truly know what you want at this time... and that's all right. It feels like you are longing for a dream, or a dream-man, and unfortunately these only exist in dreams. It feels like you are a very competent and bright person, very strong and determined which is at slight odds with a nostalgic/dreamy part of your nature... Rather than aloneness view the spaces in your life as the space in which you are being allowed to transform.

We are all growing, all the time and while this process is not easy we cannot reverse it. We can simply freeze it but then we freeze ourselves. By allowing ourselves to transform on the other hand, we are freed.

You asked about soulmates- I feel compelled to say, be careful what you are wishing for. A soulmate is someone that you share a deep connection with and have known through other lifetimes. A soulmate can be younger or older than you, the same gender, a member of your family, a friend, a neighbour, the bus driver. There is no predetermined guise in which a soulmate will appear in your life.

A soulmate relationship is not necessarily sexual nor, and this is very important, is it necessarily happy. There is more than one soulmate out there for each of us. My belief is we have many. These are powerful relationships, and we learn from them much as these lessons may not always strike us as pleasant at the time.

Just because you recognize someone as a soulmate, it doesn't always equal "it's meant to be" or even if it is that it's meant to be forever, bliss, eternal happiness or any of the like. Like any other relationship a soulmate relationship will have its share of difficulties and challenges, and in fact will suffer from some greater drawbacks.

Generally few things injure a relationship more than expectation, need and losing yourself by becoming too absorbed in the other. With soulmate relationships I have found there to be a lot of subtext of expectation. That somehow, this means that the love is deeper, or more special, and that love itself is enough. That there will be a happily ever after. Fairy tales have a lot to answer for because people tend to forget they are not real. Within the human context of this world, there is no such thing as a flawless partner. A soulmate will have their measure of irritating and endearing traits just like any other human being. Its worthwhile keeping it in mind.

No relationship can truly blossom and prosper in the shadow of A Happy Ever After hanging above it. Similarly too much need and losing yourself to a relationship will suffocate it and you. One of the gifts to give to yourself and a partner is to maintain some clarity and space so that a relationship actually has room to grow and develop.

I do not mean to discourage you from seeking and pursuing someone you feel connected to... simply to challenge some commonly held preconceptions about soulmate relationships. If you are prepared for a challenge, and that is what you desire at this time in your life then by all means go for it. However, do not forget that even non-soulmate relationships can surprise us with the depth of feelings which may develop and the richness of the experience that they offer.

My advice is to simply relax and let go at this time. Look inward. Ask yourself, what do you really want? Who? Are the things you want now in a partner different to what you wanted before and found or didn't find in previous relationships?

In truth, there is no hurry here. Healing and learning, growing and transforming are not processes which happen overnight. In themselves they are a journey and if you travel it seeing nothing but your goal you may miss the surprises and twists along the way. If we switch around the middle letters of the word goal it becomes gaol- a word for prison. There is a danger in getting trapped by the tunnel vision of our fears/desires... and may be worthwhile to let go and reestablish your center and sense of self and explore all the possibilities around you...without limiting yourself at the outset.

Wish you the best of luck.
Please let us know how you get along

Peace
Soul2Moon

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Readings, advice and guidance given by Harusami or any reader, healer, author or teacher affiliated with Soul2Soul with Harusami & Friends or its Subcontractors, do not provide legal, financial or medical advice or treatment, and is not to be considered a substitute for the services of a trained professional in these fields. Please consult a doctor in all matters concerning health, be it physical or mental in nature. Harusami and Soul2Soul with Harusami & Friends, its Subcontractors and affiliates will not be held liable for any damages that may result from information given. Although compassionate and accurate advice and guidance may be received during a reading or healing session, these readings are still to be considered for entertainment purposes only.