MY NAME IS KENIKA AND I WAS BORN ON 10/16/xx IN MARYLAND. THE PERSON THAT I AM INVOLVED WITH WAS BORN ON 03/01/xx IN MARYLAND. ME AND THIS PERSON HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR 2 MONTHS IN WHICH WE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT EACH OTHER.WE WORK TOGETHER AND HE HAS A LOT OF RESPECT FOR ME AND IS THE NICEST GUY I HAVE EVER BEEN INVOLVED WITH. ON MARCH 25 2003, HE INFORMED ME THAT HIS EX GIRLFRIEND WAS 4 MONTHS PREGNANT AND HE REALLY WAS NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT. HE KNOWS THAT I AM VERY HURT BY THIS BECAUSE I JUST ENDED A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER PERSON 3 MONTHS AGO DUE TO THIS SAME PROBLEM. HE IS VERY UPSET AND DOES NOT WANT TO SEE ME HURT, BUT HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE AND I CAN CONTINUE WHERE WE LEFT OFF BUT I AM AFRAID THAT HE AND HIS EX WILL GET BACK TOGETHER EVEN THOUGH HE SAYS THAT THEY WILL NOT. I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE.

 

Hi Kenika.

Thank you for the opportunity to read for you.

I can see why this situation is so troubling for you, especially when it is the second time you've encountered this situation. The relationship you've had up to this point has been very good, and always moving in a positive direction for you.

My first impression when reading your description of the situation was that the baby may not even be his. The feelings I get regarding this put a bit of doubt in my mind, although it is not something I can tell you for sure one way or another. I would suggest, however, that if she expects any kind of support from him for the baby, he might want to have tests done to determine whether or not the baby is his, once born. Better safe than sorry here.

I think the best thing you can do at this point is just step back from the relationship, and see how things go. This does not mean that you can't or shouldn't see him -- quite the contrary. You should maintain contact with him, and keep things on good terms. He will need your support to deal with this. Also, he is honest in his statement that he does not want to return to her -- he has no intention of doing so. However, some of his attention will understandably be focused on the ex-girlfriend and her baby, so you don't want to be in the middle of that.

By standing by him through this, you will grow closer with him. He will appreciate your support and understanding, and he will let you know how much he appreciates it as well. You will get to a point where things will come together for you in this relationship again, and it might even take you by surprise when you realize how solid things have become.

Over time, even as things have become solid between the two of you again, this situation will crop up again, and it could be around the time the baby is born. I expect that it will, because the ex-girlfriend could seek support around that time. Remember that you may not see the entire situation, and you should not judge your boyfriend and his actions based on the part of it that you do see. There will be things behind the scenes that he will be handling and not want to burden you with. You should also keep in mind that this really has nothing to do with you or your relationship with him, so you should not spend your energies focusing on it, other than to offer support to him as he needs it.

Ultimately, I believe that he will be able to put this behind him, and go forward with his life. Remember, too, that if he could simply ignore his ex-girlfriend and her situation completely, he would not be the caring man you know. But this will not dominate his life either. Things should become very solid for the two of you once this all settles down, and I believe there is a good chance for this to ultimately become anything you want it to be.

Remember that it is always your choice whether or not you stay in this relationship. There may be times it will be difficult for you to see what he is going through, and to deal with the attention that he must give her because of the situation. However, you will grow a lot through all of this if you are able to stand by him and believe in yourself enough to get through it. You will also see very clearly just what kind of man he is, and it should reassure you as things progress between the two of you.

Please take your time in considering your choices here. He is not going anywhere, so there is plenty of time for you to be sure what you do and don't want. It is your life, and you are the best judge of what is best for you. May you always find happiness along your path.

Thank you again for writing and giving me the opportunity to read for you.

Blessings,
Soul2Peace

Order a private reading from a Soul2Peace!

 

An amazing array of waterfalls, fountains and personalized engraved stonework.

Back to top

Back to Archives

 

 

---

Readings, advice and guidance given by Harusami or any reader, healer, author or teacher affiliated with Soul2Soul with Harusami & Friends or its Subcontractors, do not provide legal, financial or medical advice or treatment, and is not to be considered a substitute for the services of a trained professional in these fields. Please consult a doctor in all matters concerning health, be it physical or mental in nature. Harusami and Soul2Soul with Harusami & Friends, its Subcontractors and affiliates will not be held liable for any damages that may result from information given. Although compassionate and accurate advice and guidance may be received during a reading or healing session, these readings are still to be considered for entertainment purposes only.