Hi Karen,
Hello fellow
English major. I'm going to take literary liberties in this reading.
As
I look at Nick, the first thing that I see is that he feels ignored
for what he is/wants in this lifetime. He is being viewed as a problem,
rather than a child - a behavior rather than a soul. He feels caged
and the more everyone/everything conspires to "make him conform"
the more he is going to resist --- AND he has nothing else in his
life to do other than resist, so he will win, and everyone else is
left pissed off, worn out and frustrated. Notice the one person he
relates too is the one person who is described as "maternal"
i.e., accepting that he is a kid, accepting him as he is. For everyone
else I suggest Portia's speech in Merchant of Venice:
PORTIA.
The quality of mercy is not strain'd;
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
When I
suggest "Mercy" it is as much for you, Karen, as for him.
You don't feel you have any freedom and that is reflected in a rather
brutal "When are you going to cooperate with me so I can get
on with my life" attitude. Rather than giving him the one thing
you want in your life: acceptance and validation for just being you
- without the hoops and hurdles, and all the performances real or
fake, -- you are expecting him to perform. He's a kid. Can you be
equally a kid, rather than a performer as you have been forced to
be all your life?
Of course,
he has "separation anxiety" he's getting crushed rather
than validated. Notice how you mimic the powers at school - whether
other teachers or Asst Principal etc. in not having mercy:
'Tis
mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown;
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway,
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice.
Power is
not bad, in fact, it is very necessary in this case. However, notice
the "fear and dread of kings" is why Nick is responding
fearfully, in dread and with the only force he knows, acting out.
He can't be subtle; he can't be adult forceful, throwing out psychological
terms and prescribing meds; he can only act out. He knows what is
coming - that he is going to be manipulated. I would ask you -- can
you back off? Can you pull your energy back to within 2 feet of your
body and give him space to breathe -- and give you space to breathe?
You are worn out because all your energy is on him, and he is resisting
full force back. Simply sit back as the "maternal teacher"
and love him -- that is ALL he wants. And when I say love, I don't
mean coddle or give in to whims -- that is the prob, he knows the
dif between "nice for manipulation" and real "love
and acceptance." Strict is not bad on the body as long as there
is also the absolute validation as a Spirit. There is a very big difference
between "certainty" of action and "brute force."
Can you be certain and send awareness to this soul named Nick, saying,
"hello Soul named Nick, I see you" rather than viewing behavior
as a problem. You are viewing behavior first and person second --
see what happens if you reverse this: "It is an attribute to
God....And earthly power doth then show likest God's When mercy seasons
justice." But it comes first from Spirit and shows in body.
It will
take time to change the resistance - anything less and you will simply
keep fighting. Medication is useless, unless you want to up it to
a full "rhino-tranq" as he will mutate around any new concoction.
Validate
Nick as you have always wanted to be validated. For the essential
you - not all the labels you carry - and all the judgments that go
with those labels. Reduce yourself right now to those labels and see
the seething underneath: Are you a good mother? a good student? a
good daughter? a good lover? a good cook? a good person?
Yes YOU
are perfect. You came in perfect as a soul, but those judgments stick
and invalidate, they take you into that same judgment and invalidation.
You can be free and happy and so can Nick
Blessings
Will
Order
a private reading from Soul2Will!
An
amazing array of waterfalls, fountains and personalized engraved stonework.
Back
to top
Back
to Archives
