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Part 6: Karma Versus Self-fulfilling Prophecy

Is it Karma or Self-fulfilling prophecy that guides our destiny?

Okay,--I know , I know--you're saying "I thought he was going to talk about psychometry." The truth is I was, but so many people have asked me lately-"Why do I have such bad karma?" - that, I thought, I would try and answer that question in general terms.

Karma; an act considered in its causal relationship to a person's fate or destiny.
(In Buddhist philosophy) the sum of a man's acts, words, and deeds which decides his fate in each stage of existence; sometimes used as a synonym for fate or destiny. (Webster's Dictionary)

Karma in Indian/Hindu society is related to the caste system. The Hindus believe that they are born into their class and that is where they will live out their lives. It is believed that individuals reincarnate to higher levels after they have completed the lessons of that particular step. They also believe that if they have committed a wrong in a past life, they will be sent back to a lower class in their next life. (Personally I prefer this punishment, versus the Judeo/Christian view that we have to serve time in a place called Hell that is ruled over by a fallen angel that goes by many names, most notably, Satan or The Devil.)

We in Western society do not necessarily believe in the concept of the caste system. The evidence of this is everywhere. We encourage people to raise themselves up by their bootstraps. We teach our children that they can be anybody they wish to be, a policeman, a doctor, or even the President.

So why do bad things continue to happen to good people? Is it Fate or Destiny? We do not have the space here to debate the age-old question of fate versus free will. This debate rages in philosophical circles and may never be answered, but I will attempt to boil it down to its simplest terms. The fatalists will have us believe that everything we do is preordained, that our paths are pre-charted. They argue that certain lessons must be learned before we can move on. It would be like repeating the tenth grade over and over until we finally were able to complete the algebra exam.

On a personal note I have always had a recurring nightmare that I have one more English class to take before I can graduate. I am stuck returning to high school for another year in order to make up this one class. I usually wake up in a cold sweat, of course then I realize it is that darn dream again and I go back to sleep. I recently returned to college after more than a twenty-year hiatus, and yes you guessed it, I am taking English. The dreams have finally stopped, so are we stuck reliving or relearning until we get it right?

Yes and no, if we never learn the algebra in the aforementioned example we cannot graduate. We cannot go to college or seek any kind of employment that requires a high school diploma. I use the high school analogy as an example, but this could apply to any area of life. For instance, I was raised by an alcoholic parent. Because of this, I am a bonafide codependent. (A person who lives with an alcoholic begins to acquire a whole set of symptoms related to alcoholism. Melody Beatty first named this condition in her blockbuster book codependent No More.) Before I knew what it was or that I was suffering from the malady, I was continually attracted to exactly the wrong person for me. This ultimately lead to a string of bad relationships. I would be attracted to partners who had some sort of dependency, i.e., alcohol, drugs, etc. I kept asking myself, "Why do I continually end up in these bad relationships?" The truth was it was my own doing. I was programmed to find partners with problems. This leads us naturally into the other side of the fate versus free will argument, that of free will.

The free will argument basically says that there are no rules, and everyday we make decisions that shape our future. I personally prefer this side of the argument. In many spiritualist classes I have taken, it has been generally regarded that before we came into this life, we sat down and had a little talk with either God (or whomever you believe your higher power to be) or some of our guides. We basically mapped out a plan for the lessons we needed to learn. We discussed how and when certain people would come into our lives to teach us lessons. This can leave some people believing that they have bad karma or fate, because bad things continue to happen to them. Yet, if we look at my example of bad relationships, we can see that I caused them all on my own. It took years of CODA meetings to rid myself of this trait.

This brings us to self-fulfilling prophecies. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a situation in which we make a prediction or prophecy and then fulfill it ourselves. For instance, we make statements like "I never win anything." Because we make this statement we never enter contests, thus creating a viscous cycle. We cannot win any contests if we don't enter any. We have created a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is a very rudimentary example of this concept. In some cases we do things we are not aware of, like my example of being attracted to partners that were not suitable.

I took a class one time called Manifesting Your Dreams. Every other time I had read about such things, the books or courses taught that one should imagine in his or her mind what it is that he or she desires, and hold this thought each night before bed, i.e., riches or a new house, the perfect spouse, new job, etc. Imagine yourself in that position and it will come to you. Frankly, as I lay down to try these exercises, I usually fell asleep. I found them boring and tedious.

Needless to say, I am in the same house and the bank accounts are not overflowing with riches. In this class the instructor had a different approach. Her approach was to remove the obstacles holding a person back. She said, "Let's look at the obstacles to your success." She asked me what it was that I wanted to achieve by taking the course. The first thing on the list was more cash flow. We could all use that, right? It sounds greedy but that was on the top of my list. She then gave me homework. She asked that I write down any phrases that I thought of throughout the day that might hinder my progress. Well low and behold, at least twenty times per day, I was repeating a phrase that someone had said to me long ago, "Gregg, you're always a day late and a dollar short." The shortened version of this statement became "day late and a dollar short." There I was repeating to my self, day in and day out, twenty times a day, that I am always broke and late for appointments. I felt really silly when I came to this realization. It was like a huge cloud that had been hanging over me was beginning to dissipate. She then instructed me to wear a rubber band on my wrist and snap it whenever I caught myself saying it. I may not be a millionaire at this point, but I always have money in my pockets and I keep decent balances in my checking accounts. In addition, I find that I am, in most cases, on time or early for appointments. Karma, or self-fulfilling prophecy, you be the Judge.

So to the question, "Why do bad things always happen to me?" The fatalists might have us believe that we are paying for some past deeds and that until we have paid our debt we will be forever having problems. The arguers for free will suggest that we have probably brought on most of this heartache on our own, including self-fulfilling prophecies. I personally feel that the answer lies somewhere in the middle ground. Why did I continue to have the dream that I am late for English classes? Many years ago I can recall saying that someday I would like to earn a living as a writer. Was this my own subconscious reacting to this statement? Or as the spiritualists would counter, my guides were gently trying to wake me up. Those dreams didn't seem so gentle when they occurred. In my own case of always being broke, this seems to be connected to a self-fulfilling prophecy. In the case of being attracted to the wrong partners, this seems to be a product of my environment. Did I choose this before I was born in order to work through some lesson, or was it just the luck of the draw?

I have one final example from my own life to share with you. When I was about seventeen I stopped at a filling station for some gas. While the man was outside filling up my tank I helped myself to a candy bar, without paying. I did pay for the gasoline, however. Happy with both my tank and my stomach filled, I drove on down the highway. About two or three miles down the road, I had a tire blow out. It was a perfectly good tire with lots of tread left on it. I limped back to that very same filling station to have it serviced. The tire was beyond repair, and the mechanic even commented, "I have never seen a tire blow out that way, looks like a firecracker blew up inside or something." It cost me $17.00 in 1972. Did that .50-cent candy bar cost me $17.00 (close to a day's pay at the time)? I smiled to myself and thought about the candy bar. Was it Karma? Did Karma come back and hit me like a boomerang for stealing that candy bar? I did learn a very important lesson that day. I learned that I should not steal. In the years since that time, I have been tempted on occasion but that fateful day comes back to haunt me and I think better of it. In turn this may have kept me out of a lot of trouble. I have also never had much luck with dating more than one woman at a time, but that is another story, altogether.

Lastly, I would like to leave you with a concept called the Pygmalion effect. It is the exact opposite of the negative form of self-fulfilling prophecy. The Pygmalion effect is the condition in which one makes a prediction of success and then begins to act in that manner thereby making it come true. For example, I wish to be well liked, so I say to myself, "I am well liked." Then as I go about my daily business, I wave to everyone and smile because I know that they like me. In turn those same people form an opinion of me as a likable person. If I had my choice, this is the self-fulfilling prophecy I would choose. Think successful and become your dreams!

Arrivederci until next month, when we may or may not discuss psychometry.

Who says that women are the only ones who change their minds?

 

 

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