~Harusami's
Story~
It
took me a long time to fully appreciate or even acknowledge the intuitive
gifts
I'd been given. My Japanese mother was quite intuitive and often had
prophetic dreams, she taught me a bit about palm reading as a child,
and when I was about 10 I had formulated my own form of divination
utilizing three colored pebbles. My mother would ask about the profitable
outcome of her excursions to the track and my stones would generally
be quite accurate.... much to her annoyance mostly, and she would
often blame me for "taking away her luck" when the stones
would predict the losses that would inevitably come true.
I
remember reading the palm of an elderly neighbor once when I was about
11, I remember the misty look in her eyes when I told her of an early
love she had lost before she had met her then deceased husband...
I don't really know what it was I was reading or even saying to her,
but she confirmed the accuracy of everything I related to her. The
weird thing was I didn't see this in any particular line or nuance
of her hand, this wasn't an intellectual "the line of heart ends
'so many' millimeters under the index finger" type of reading
I was doing....I just didn't understand what it was then.
It was also around this age that I became a little scholar of all
things mystical and metaphysical, I read all the true accounts of
ghost hunting I could get my hands on and was a huge fan of Hans Holzer
and his series of books dealing with true hauntings and the psychic
mediums brought in to investigate. I was also on an early quest to
find God, but that's another story.
By
the age of 12 I was doing handwriting analysis for my classmates at
$1.00 a page, I was fascinated by what I had learned about it from
a tiny little dime store booklet. I also was drawn into doing spell
work at an early age and was actually quite frightened by the outcomes
and wisely stayed away from any forms of manifesting work until I
was more educated in the rules of cause and effect, and consequences
of such things.
I
took a course in parapsychology when I was 21, and was amazed at what
I was able to psychically pick up during the final class experiment
in psychometry . All the students were asked to place 2 objects such
as a piece of jewelry or clothing into a pile, then we were asked
to take 2 different objects from the pile and write about our impressions
from them. I was the last one to take from the pile and ended up with
what appeared to be a man's ring and a crumpled paper cup. I was and
still am, a skeptical believer and still really didn't think I was
that psychically inclined and certainly didn't think I could get any
kind of impression from someone's discarded paper cup.
So
I took my "treasures" and went off to sit by myself on the
grass (It was a lovely spring day so class was held outside) and proceeded
to empty my mind... to picture the darkness of black velvet....it's
just something that works for me. I first took the crumpled cup and
placed it at my 3rd eye... I knew nothing about chakras at the time
but did know about the 3rd eye. And I immediately saw emerging from
the black velvet in my mind, an old Victorian house empty of furniture....
rolled up carpeting on the bare wood floors, a group of people talking
and the strange word "Dillseed" or "Dillweed",
I laughed at the strangeness but wrote it down anyway. Next I took
the man's ring, placed it to my head and got the images of the mountains....
a beautiful place, seemed like Alaska, a trip in a camper or Winnebago
type vehicle with a man and what appeared to be his beautiful young
blonde daughter. I was amused but leery as I wrote all this down.
When it came time for those students who had gotten my objects, a
ring and a makeup compact, to tell of their impressions, I was disappointed
that nothing they said rang true to me and was getting a little apprehensive
about having to get up and tell of my crazy impressions. First, I
told about the man's ring... the man who belonged to the ring let
out a hoot and a big booming laugh.... "Well, you got that right
about the trip, hun, except she wasn't my daughter! Young enough to
be though!". Everyone had a good laugh over that one and I was
pretty happy and surprised, though embarrassed by my assumption! After
telling about my impression on the paper cup, the young woman who
had discarded it came forth to explain that she was moving into an
apartment that was actually in an old Victorian house, her friends
were helping her put in carpeting... they were big sci-fans and were
involved in writing a sci-fi novel.... the main character was named
"Dillseed". She looked visibly shocked....I think we both
had to pick our jaws off the ground after that.
I
never really pursued it any further after that, not much call in reading
strangers knickknacks, so I thought, and I put it away as a cool thing
I was capable of. I also seemed to have an uncanny ability to tell
the sex of unborn babies and even to predict or foresee when they
were on their way. I would see visions in certain houses, it made
house-hunting interesting if not downright scary at times. I developed
a problem being in crowds, and was often sensitive to the moods of
others, I didn't really know at the time what an empath was.... and
I think I tried to drink it away, it did seem to have the temporary
effect of numbing things and I had a lot of stuff I wanted to wish
away. Unfortunately the drinking also caused me to doubt or discount
most of the visions I did have.
It wasn't until I sobered up, got healthy and started on a regular
schedule of walking 2 miles a day, that I started to feel this loving
presence beside me .... I would have questions and the answers would
seemingly be 
whispered
to me on the wind. This presence was always more powerful in nature...
my climbs up mountain tops and ridges became a sort of meditation
just as my daily walks had become. The feeling I got when this "Great
Enigma" spoke to me was one of utter and complete love... I would
be filled with it... a bliss that is indescribable and would have
me smiling at the world for days afterward.
When
I began apprehensively sharing some of the wisdoms learned from my
mountain top conversations with what I'd taken to calling God/Goddess/Creator,
people would ask me if I was quoting something from some book called
Conversations
With God , I hadn't read the book at the time and was getting
a bit peeved that this book would come up so much! And of course there
were also people who thought me crazy or presumptuous to think I was
communicating with The Creator, and they tried to explain to me that
I must be channeling various angels or other beings on the other side....
and some of my dear friends I'm sure, believed I was completely nuts...
I really didn't know enough about this stuff to argue or agree.
I
wasn't a reader of the new wave of "new age" books since
the mid 80's when I read Shakti
Gawain's wonderful books on Creative
Visualization, I even took a workshop with her back then. So I
finally made a trip into the "New Age" self-improvement
section of my favorite bookstore one day to take a look at what was
out there. I remember standing there with hundreds of books staring
back at me! Books by Wayne Dyer, Gary Zukov, Deepak Chopra, Marianne
Williamson and all these other strangers whose bold faces smiled in
wise, knowing poses from these shelves. The place was packed this
Sunday afternoon with people busily seeking their truths among the
pages. I didn't know where to start! So many books on the nature of
God and Spirit, "Paths to This" and "Journey's to That",
Miracles, Abundance, Love, Manifesting Perfect Lives and such....
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volumn! Then the voice I had only heard
in the quiet of the woods and mountains spoke to me in that crowded
bookstore.
"You already know everything there is to know in these books...
everyone does... you're just remembering it all now, the world is
just in need of "Reminders". I couldn't help myself from
laughing out loud at this, caught myself quickly as if sharing a private
joke, I could feel the loving smile and humor of Spirit.
It
wasn't until October of 2000 that I finally did picked up a copy of
Conversations
With God by Neale Donald Walsch, it was after yet again another
reference to it in a book called
Together Again: Twin Souls Reunite by
Dennis Jackson & Alice Best. I had met the authors of this
book about twin souls uniting at a local holistic convention, I had
developed an interest in the subject after a chance meeting with a
special soul.... but that's another story. Anyway, "Conversations
with God" was repeatedly mentioned in their book as a big factor
in these two souls meeting, so I finally picked up a copy and read
it. I smiled my way through it. This was the same funny, wise, loving
Being that was giving me counsel, I found myself saying "Yeah!
That's exactly what you said to me!" and laughing. It also restored
faith in my sanity.
I
discovered online psychic reading rooms about 3 years ago in the search
or confirmation of answers. My previous encounter with a psychic reader
was right after the death of my fiance by a drunk driver in 1979.
A friend had recommended that I go to a local Spiritualist Church
for a reading, I didn't want the reader to be influenced in any way
by my demeanor... which at the time was deep and unrelenting grief,
so I put on a happy face acted the part of a perky, happy, typical
19 year-old.
"Oh you poor dear..." Ella said upon first casting eyes
on me. "You've lost your soulmate.... I've been married for 25
years and I have never even met my soulmate!" I was shocked as
she went on to tell me all about our too brief but loving, magical
and ill-fated relationship and how my fiance's dead father was currently
helping him in the transition to the other side.
Her words were both comforting and troubling. I was grateful for the
confirmation of the survival of his consciousness, that his soul continued,
but I was devastated to learn I had lost my one and only soulmate
as she so inaccurately pointed out.... I felt my life and any future
happiness was doomed from that point on.
It was much later that I came to realize that we have many soulmates,
souls we have previously agreed to unite with in this life to learn
lessons, evolve and grow with, souls we have spent other lifetimes
with as lovers, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, friends, husbands,
wifes and even enemies, adversaries, our murderers and our victims.
It's all about returning to love and forgiveness, to be filled with
the love and compassion of the Creator/Jesus/Goddess/Buddha/God/Mohammed
/Great Spirit/Bob... whatever you call it...it is LOVE. Love
in its highest form, love in all forms, and it begins with love of
self, for in loving ourselves we honor the Creator/Jesus/Goddess/Buddha/God/
Mohammed/Great Spirit and become an infinite vessel of Spirit, our
challenge is to align our ego with our higher self and to remember
our divine nature.
These are my truths and I encourage everyone to seek their own path
to Spirit. Intuitive readers, psychics and channels can be a guide
on your path and they can help confirm or advise you on your current
course in life, but don't take their words as written in stone, find
your own truths just as that 19 year-old so long ago had to seek and
find her own truths about soulmates, and to learn for herself that
happiness is within her. Know that there is always free will and you
are the captain of your vessel, and also know that Spirit has the
answers if you learn to listen with your heart.
Love
& light,
Harusami
July 1, 2001
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