Use Your Breath To Arouse and Relax Your Genitals

Although there are many subtle aspects to your breath, two major sexual functions are the reception and release of energy. When you inhale, you are opening yourself and receiving breath and energy into your body. When you exhale, you are letting go and releasing energy. When you are born, one of your first acts is to inhale, drawing breath into the body. When you die, one of your last acts is to exhale, releasing all hold on this life. The birth and death of your genital arousal is a similar process.

Your inhalation feeds energy down into your genitals. Men who have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection and women who have dry or painful vaginas are often weak inhalers. They have difficulty receiving energy and emotion. Their belly is not open and alive, able to expand with breath energy as the full inhalation brings force down the front of their body to the genitals. These people also tend to be weaker in the world than their actual potential. Either they are unable to muster the energy to get things done or else they tend to be heady and pointed while doing them, rather than full and relaxed.

If you have trouble getting or maintaining an erection, or if your vagina tends to be dry and painful during sex, then you might benefit from strengthening your inhalation. Make sure that throughout the day and especially during sex your inhalations are full and deep. Draw the inhalation down the front of your body, expanding your belly with breath, and filling your genitals with the inhaled energy. Your inhalation should be so full that you actually feel a pressure pushing into your genital region as the inhalation reaches its brink. With each inhalation feel as if you are priming the pump, filling the genitals and lower abdomen with energy.

Your exhalation releases energy. Men and women who are hyper-energetic and tend toward frequent but superficial orgasms tend to be weak exhalers. They have difficulty letting go and allowing the energy to circulate throughout their entire body and beyond. They are all too ready to be filled with energy, and then, because they are unable to easefully exhale the energy or circulate it, they become anxious about releasing it through other means. They tend to be easily angered, addicted to eating frenzies and orgasm-centered sex, and often look for other ways to blow off steam. Exhalation is a form of surrender. Emotionally, weak exhalers tend to be unsurrendered in the sexual occasion and thus unable to give and receive love with profound depth of feeling.

If you have trouble postponing ejaculation or participating in sex with deep emotional surrender, then you will want to practice strengthening your exhalation. Allow your exhalations to be long, slow, and full, really letting go of all of your breath, as if you were "dying" into bliss. As you exhale, release all hold on yourself so you feel you are giving yourself totally to the moment, to your partner, and to love. Surrender yourself more deeply with each full exhalation as you offer your gifts of energy and love to your partner. Release the breath from your whole body, including the lower part, so your belly and genitals feel fully released and given in love.

Weak inhalation means weak genital arousal. Weak exhalation means weak ability to circulate energy. If you want to increase genital arousal, emphasize inhalation. If you want to decrease genital arousal, emphasize the exhalation.

As you inhale, open yourself to fully receive love, life, and energy. As you exhale, surrender yourself, giving yourself totally, so that no love is left ungiven. The sexual occasion provides an opportunity to practice these two primary emotional aspects of breath-reception and surrender--in an intensified fashion. Sex can fill you with so much love-energy that the pleasure and brightness becomes almost unbearable. Sex can also allow you such deep surrender that you let go of everything and give your gifts fully, offering every ounce of your love and energy.

As you practice filling and surrendering yourself through your breath during sex, you strengthen your capacity to do the same throughout the day. Your inhalations and exhalations become constant reminders to fill your body with love and energy and also yield it all, giving your deepest gifts, holding nothing back--only to be filled again.

Excerpt from "The Way of the Superior Lover" ©1997-2002David Deida. All rights reserved. PLEXUS

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